“You shut your mouth when you argue with me!”

break up

Have you seen the commercial “Not sorry” from Pantene?

It’s the one where every woman is saying sorry for something to a man.

Then it says, “Don’t be sorry.” And they go on with a smug expression saying, “Sorry, not sorry.”

Firstly. I don’t know that many women walking around so sweet and innocently saying sorry for nothing.

Second. There is no weakness in being polite. MEN do it too. I promise.

Third. If you are a loud mouth braggart like me. And I’m a woman. You have cause to be sorry once in a while

It’s funny. Whenever I plan a specific topic it falls flat, and another one comes up organically in my life that just forces itself into the front of my temporal lobe.

I’d wanted to talk about arguing on Facebook, but then real life arguments of BOTH social networking and friends dealing with divorce and so on became apparent that it’s more common than the simple Facebook commentators spreading like a vast disease over our internet.

I’m sorry, I’m not sorry.

“Foot in mouth syndrome”<< I’m pretty familiar with this. In fact, it’s so common you’d think I’d buy dressing for my tootsies. You’d also think that my all you can eat buffet of crow would get old but I’m not so picky apparently.

I love when people tell me at church, “Well you must be Peter!”

Oh yes. Definitely. I’m a disciple who walked on water.

I’m just me and it’s pretty lame, much lamer than accidentally flubbing in front of the Son of God, that I can promise.

But it’s okay. That’s the reason I do need help so much with this flapping participle filled with teeth and gums that can’t seem to quite stop.

Oh look! Honour is now typing her thoughts haphazardly in a blog now! A second blog! See, she really and truly does NOT know when to shut up.

Ummm, duh.

So, back to the arguments.

It’s funny cause I’d been hearing a few things about “striving for peace.” That has a nasally annoying ring to it, right?

How does one strive for peace?

Peace should just be easy. Easy as pie, is peace, and a piece of peace pie sounds nice a la mode.

Sure, because everything that is beneficial is so easy!

Take for example wedded bliss, and not just any marriage, my own in fact. When Mr. Woods and I got together you’d think someone gave us a commission, paid bonus’, to try and rip each other down—I’m not kidding.

We took turns, as the usual barely twenty-something and eighteen-something’s do, pulling the rug out, laying down banana peels, and even doctoring the wounds later by pressing on the bruises once in a while like, that HAS to hurt, does it hurt? Ouch! (giggle-snort-squeal)

I mean it, people. We acted like our house was a cage match. We even used the big “D” word like it was going out of style. “You got pickles on my hamburger?” Divorce! (Me not him) “You were late to a party I never told you about?” Divorce (Any guesses? Me again.) I won’t point out his but I promise they were equally hilarious as in heart attack hilarious.

Then there are the myriad of frenemies in life. Now, I’m sure you all think I’ve probably been a great friend, an example like me…after all, I’m disciple Peter or what’s the girl version? Let’s call me Apostle Patricia! Oh, I like the sound of it already.

So me, Patricia, and quite saintly, I was definitely friend numero uno…right? Well yes, that is if you enjoyed hearing how wrong you were for the most part. If you liked being told almost every aspect of my life as well and why it was important to hear about it…and hear about it some more. Suuuuuuure, then I was the best friend you could have.

The type of character blessed upon me has a way of opening a lot of fight club doors if I let it. Don’t worry, I’m not blaming you…unless you are wrong, which is usually the case. (fixes halo)

But along came Joe Dirt. HA! I bet you thought I’d bring up the bible right here. Some of you are just WAITING for me to surprise you with a scripture. Not yet. Have patience. (Waves apostle hands like a Jedi)

Joe Dirt makes a comment in the movie: “Is this where you want to be when Jesus comes back? Pickin on little Joe Dirt?”

Now, to be fair, we have heard this in church before but it stuck with me a bit more when Joey said it because it’s the truth AND funny which makes things more memorable for me. Did I want to be in a brawl when things ended? Did I want to have been a terrible wife, or friend, or even just some poor excuse for a human on that big day?

Let’s say for the sake of those who don’t read this for their sermon (tongue firmly in cheek) that I got hit by a bus instead of being whisked away into the fluffy, white clouds as any good Patricia the disciple should, and instead I fall off a cliff (Smack!).

Do I want my last moments to have been arguing with Susy on Facebook? Or tumbling through the air with balled fists having just hung up on Jenny who I told in all my saintly-ness to shove it? Or even worse, telling my hubs the D word and then BAM, BUS in the FACE!

And so it was then that this talk of peace-keeping was buzzing in my ear.

I had some unfinished stuff going on in my life, some things I’d participated in with my own comments (when don’t I?) that definitely could have been kept to myself, or better yet tossed into the inferno’s of hell, and so I thought, well, in for penny Patricia.

“Striving for peace” ended up being me cutting a path toward fixing things with almost anyone who’d let me. I chopped my tongue out mentally when something arose that I knew would create a fight, war, or grudge.

And I shared my new found “Strive for peace” mantra with buddies of mine who also tried it. Voila. We’ve dropped a load we didn’t even know that we held!

My new saying is: There’s no weakness in being sorry.

My second one is: There’s no weakness in crossing a burnt bridge either. (that’s right. I said ‘burnt’)

I’m not a wimp and my Apostle status remains intact! TADAH!

Down with pride. Up with peace!

XOXO

L

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